Truly Malaysian

Some time ago, The Star Online puts up a fun online quiz called How Malaysian Are You?

That's all fine and dandy, but I was thinking - as we become more complex and modern as a society, how do we know what's Malaysian and what's not? Some say driving rudely is intrinsically Malaysian, but down under their drivers are a hundred times worse than Malaysian drivers. Similarly, your IC might say you're Malaysian, but when you listen to Britney Spears, eat McDonalds and can't speak more than two words of Malay, how Malaysian are you?

It has come to a point where we gotta stop wondering "How Malaysian Am I?" and start wondering "How un-Malaysian Am I?" And exactly just how un-Malaysian are you?

There's only one way to find out.

How un-Malaysian Are You?

What is your name?

1. What is teh tarik?

A) a delicious frothy drink prepared by repeatedly pouring hot milk tea from one can to the other.

B) A beverage that tastes no real difference to a normal milk tea.

C) "teh tarik" is the name of teh l33t h4x0r who'll pwn j00 @$$ if j00 n0t c4r3fu|.

2. When you have your dinner, what cutlery do you use?

A) Chopsticks only

B) Fork and spoon

C) Fork and spoon you stole from Malaysian Airlines during one of your flights. You also have a MAS plastic saucer plate you kept somewhere. No wonder Malaysia Airlines lost so much money so they had to raise their fares!

3. If "destination" in Malay is destinasi, and "action" is aksi; what is "section" in Malay?

A) seksi

B) sectsi

C) seksyen

4. What is freedom of speech?

A) You are free to say what you want without fear

B) You are free to say what you want without causing fear

C) You are free to say what you want only if you agree with me, otherwise you shut the hell up and get lost lah!

5. You're walking along in a shopping centre when the young lady in front of you suddenly slipped and fell. You...

A) Look at her in bewilderment, then continue on your journey.

B) Help her up

C) Help her up but only if she's HOTT

6. You're walking alone in a park when you came face to face with a complete stranger and he gave you a brief smile. You...

A) Smile back at him and say hi

B) Give him a weird look as if he's a mental nutcase

C) Clutch your handbag/wallet tightly and run away as fast as you can

7. Which of the following are cities in the UK that you're familiar with?

A) Leicester, Blackpool, Sheffield

B) Manchester United, West Ham United, Liverpool United

C) Chiao-SEE, Midduh-BLO, Ah-ser-NUH

8. Which of the following types of movies will most likely be banned/heavily edited by Malaysian censors?

A) A controversial fiction based on the conspiracy theory that Jesus Christ had a child with prostitute Mary Magdalene.

B) A proudly Malaysian made documentary / musical about the former leader of a now-defunct communist party

C) A romantic comedy about a magazine writer who tried to lose a guy in ten days, but ended up falling for him instead.

9. Which wedding last year do you think is worthy of being considered Wedding of the Year?

A) Datuk K and Siti Nurhaliza

B) Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban

C) Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson

10. What exactly is a "Multimedia Super Corridor"?

A) A designated area where companies of a certain status can enjoy generous tax breaks.

B) Neh, the place where you go shopping for computer. Vely cheap one..

C) Neh, you know the... the... the very high tech one ah. Aiya I lazy to exprain to you.