This is stupid. I have a zillion things to blog about. New experiences, feelings and thoughts. Yet expressing myself in words doesn't satisfy me. My words don't represent what I am thinking or feeling at all. I can't seem to verbalize and pen down my thoughts as they are. I write something and end up deleting everything. Sure it's normal one time, but it get's frustratingly annoying the tenth time. I have one too many unpublished drafts. Just like those people who write unsent letters, I have that syndrome too. So I came up with an idea. Instead of me figuring out the right words for all my posts, I just tell you what I intended to post about. Then the rest is up to you to figure out. You catch my drift? So here goes my list of unpublished drafts:
1. The one about me having to wear spectacles.
2. My super duper awesome trip to Bali.
3. The death of my junior, arwah Mohd Faizal bin Ahmad Kamil.
4. Arsenal losing top spot in the Premier League.
5. The haunted corn maze.
6. Maulidur Rasul on Good Friday.
7. My North Island tour of New Zealand.
This included tobogganing the sand dunes of Te Paki.
And quad biking the plains of Paihia.
Plus rafting the rapids of Kaituna.
Those aren't everything but they top the list. Does anybody have any other ideas on how else to better express myself? Maybe I need to start a band. Maybe I should call the band "I Started This Band To Express Myself" and write a song called "I Wrote This Song To Express My Thoughts". Maybe I need to snap more photo's. Maybe I need to make a movie. Ah yes, maybe I need to make a movie.
That thing there is the tip of New Zealand. Cape Reinga, served on a silver platter.
The main problem I have is I tend be wary of what I write. I have this conscience constantly breathing down my neck asking me "What if people don't like what you think?". So then I delete what I personally think and end up writing what other people think. That way I would gain acceptance.
I have got to get rid of that stupid voice and stop deleting everything I write. I think I need to pledge something to mark this significance. From now onwards, I vow to myself to never ever press the delete (or backspace) button until I have hit the publish button. Mark my words. Nevre Never! (Dammit)
PS: Today I fell for an April fool joke courtesy of John. I would have skinned him alive if he weren't miles away by the time I figured it out.
PPS: Today also Iman sent me this photo from India via Yahoo! Messenger.
Before I end, I just want to say Odd has a new blog, so be sure to check it out.
I will end this post with the following verse from the Holy Quran:
"Strongest among men in enmity to the Believers wilt thou find the Jews and Pagans; and nearest among them in love to the Believers wilt thou find those who say: "We are Christians:" because amongst these are men devoted to learning and men who have renounced the world, and they are not arrogant."
(005:082)
Signed, sealed, delivered.
its important for you to know that not all thoughts should be published. It is better though to think of the writer side of you to be oblivious to other people's opinion or views.
ReplyDeletesure there will be consequences but u know what? anything takes a toll on everything.
Now that's how you become a good writer.
i feel you on the "long list of unpublished posts"...frustrating yes.
ReplyDeletecool rafting pics bro
hahaha..i like ur sense of humour! owh, look, this is YOUR blog tau, the place where u cn express ur private thoughts publicly.. so wut's up with;
ReplyDelete"The main problem I have is I tend be wary of what I write. I have this conscience constantly breathing down my neck asking me "What if people don't like what you think?". So then I delete what I personally think and end up writing what other people think. That way I would gain acceptance."
u cn write abt anytg u like, we're gonna accept u anyway no matter how different ur views may be, becoz we choose to read ur blog, xde sape2 paksa pon kn?
btw dh alang2 dkt sini,just wondering, what do u think of Sufiah Yusof's issue? n what do u think of saving sufiah's issue?
p/s: thanks for promoting my blog ;)
i thought im d only one whos having dis syndrom - afraid if people dont like what i post on my blog.
ReplyDeletefor time being am taking a break.
later
p/s: aku tetap menunggu nukilan hatimu yang akan datang =)
afiq: aren't you contradicting yourself when you say that thoughts need to be oblivious to external opinion yet not necessarily published?
ReplyDeletereedean: thanks shah, rafting was worth every penny. so what is your excuse for unpublishing?
raudha husain: me? sense of humour? thanks odd, i didn't know i had one. emotionless is more synonymous with me.
being opinionated and explicit at the same time is hard for me. thats my problem. i'll try and demonstrate that in my post on the sufiah yusof issue. no pickles for the blog promo.
iklizz: no dan, you are not alone. im sure many bloggers have this. so why the sabbatical?
Assalamualaikum Lutfi.
ReplyDeleteWah, sangat lawa la foto2 tu sume! Jeles jap. Guna kamera model ape ek? Dan lagi satu,tentang ayat alQuran kat akhir entry tu, memang menarik sebab takpernah tau ada ayat yang maksudnya begitu (Huhuh, lemahnya diri ni). At first, i thought that was a complete ayat. Rupa2nya ada ayat2 sebelum tu.
Takut orang lain tak check semula dalam tafsir dan terus gunakan ayat tu, it's better u put .... kat depan ayat tu, sebab dulu ustaz ajar macam tu. Kalau amik ayat alQuran tak lengkap, letak .... depan, atau belakang. Supaya nampak yang ayat tu sebenarnya ada bahagian lain.
=)
p/s: Oh great, masa komen ni baru sedar i've done the same thing to previously. Gotta edit my pic back.
alonq_exe: Alaikumsalam Qamar. Thanks, but not all the photos were shot by me. The rafting photos were taken by a professional cameraman. I use a Nikon D40X with standard kit lens.
ReplyDeleteYes you're right about the verse from the Quran. I should have put the whole ayah in. However I don't think I put the meaning out of context. I will edit it anyway.